I\’m Only Awesome When I\’m Single

Relationships are great. Someone to cuddle with, dates, random acts of kindness like flowers, taking your likes and dislikes into consideration, someone who loves and appreciates you – what could be better?

Yet somehow I’m happier when I’m single. It’s not because I like alone time or because I get my kicks playing the field – I’m not that kind of girl, but my confidence in myself wilts and my overall happiness declines when I’m in a relationship.

Why is he checking that girl out – what does she have that I don’t – wait seriously why is he checking her out?

He kissed me and then never wanted to see me again – am I that bad of a kisser?

I’m too clingy, i’m never available, I don’t spend enough time with him, he needs his space – what on earth!

Are you going to the gym? Why do you think I’m fat and I need to – let the diet and HIIT classes begin – what happened to the confident girl?

That’s what you’re wearing to bed? Ummm yeah?! Why what would you like me to wear…. Nothing?!

When I’m in a relationship with someone, I see other women who are prettier, skinnier and smarter and wonder why he keeps coming back my way. When I’m single, I don’t compare myself to other women. I honestly could care less. So why do I care in a relationship? It’s because I could lose him to one of them. I could get a text saying they saw him on Tinder and I could watch my world come crashing down in front of me. So what’s a girl to do – date and try to find love? Hope for the best and accept that I won’t be myself or continue to be single?