Where my single ladies at? This one is for you! I started writing this article in December, and was going to throw it at you in January and get all cheesy about how we make resolutions for so many things in our lives, why not resolve in matters of the heart. Then, I decided to step back from that aspect, at least the whole new years resolution cheesy part of it. If 2018 wasn’t your year in the relationship department, maybe 2019 is the time to refocus on you and what your heart needs. Here are seven tips that will help open yourself up to finding love.
1. Start with yourself Write down all the good qualities you have as a mate and all your bad qualities. Pick two good qualities you want to improve that would make you even more attractive to potential mates. Now pick two negative qualities you can reduce or eliminate that will make you more attractive. I will give you two personal examples: my good quality is I am very caring and like to do little things for people that matter to me. My biggest negative quality is I have body image issues and constantly call myself “fat”, and dismiss compliments.
2. Get off the dating apps and sites Relationship sites claim that one in five relationships start online. That means four in five start offline. Follow the offs and get out there. Expanding your social circle, taking new workout classes…etc will increase your chances of finding that special someone.
3. Clean up your living space Prepare your space with the intent that you’re getting it ready to entertain a potential partner. If your space is dirty and cluttered, it conditions your mind to think that your space is not ready for someone and gives you the excuse not to meet potential suiters.
4. Get rid of things that remind you of your ex…. thank you, next! Your ex is an ex for a reason, if reminders are around they will trigger your mind to think about your ex instead of shifting your focus to meeting someone new and wonderful.
5. Know the qualities you want in a potential mate Make a list of things you want and stick to it. Don’t waver your desires or compromise for someone just for the sake of being in a relationship. Wait for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now.
6. It’s okay to be single Being hard on yourself because you are single manipulates you into feelings of despair. Forgiving yourself creates hope for what’s to come and eventually feelings of happiness. Positive vibes are far more attractive than negative ones, so be kind to yourself.
7. Read the book The Five Love Languages (singles edition) by Gary Chapman Learn what your love language is so you know what you require in a relationship.
8. Listen Most people love to talk, but few are really good listeners. When you pay close attention, you can learn so much about someone.